It’s okay that you’re an asshole.


Dear gentleman at the library,

It’s okay that you’re an asshole. Really it is. I am not bothered or concerned by your incessant shushing of me and my family. Grant it, we were at the library as soon as it opened to avoid bothering anyone, and one minion is only 2 and the other minion is autistic. But still, it’s okay. I’m not mad. Me calling you an asshole is just an accurate description more than a judgment call. It’s not like my kids were screaming or running around like animals (which does happen). We were in the KIDS section of the library, and the only thing the smaller one was doing was talking a bit loud. “The end. The end. The end.” she said as she closed various books over and over. She’s not a big talker and honestly, not very good at it, so when she does chose to speak I do. not. shush. her.

But you don’t know me or my family any more than I know you. Maybe your wife just died, maybe your car was stolen or your social security check is lost in the mail. I don’t know, I don’t know your life. But it’s okay Mr. Shush-y Asshole man, I just smiled at you, made sure to make some good eye contact and went on my way. I’m a writer. Which means I will, at some point in the future, create a character out of your likeness and demeanor and he will die violently.

Have a very special day,

Cayce LaCorte


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